Modern, Masculinity and the Unexpected Role of Cannabis
For generations, men have been taught to endure. To push through pain. To stay silent.
To keep moving forward no matter how heavy life becomes.
Mental health has long carried stigma, but men’s mental health carries a unique burden.
Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness. Asking for help can feel like failure. Many
of us were raised to believe emotions were problems to be solved privately, if they were
acknowledged at all.
If you’re part of Generation X, this likely feels familiar. Feelings were something you
kept locked away. You handled things on your own. You didn’t talk about them. You
didn’t show them. Strength meant control and control meant silence.
But silence has consequences.
Real strength is self-awareness. Real courage is admitting when something is wrong.
And real masculinity includes vulnerability, tenderness and honesty.
When Life Changes Everything
In May 2019, my wife was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. Around the same time, the
COVID-19 pandemic began reshaping daily life. Soon after, I lost my job of nineteen
years.
Fear, uncertainty, financial pressure and emotional exhaustion began stacking on top of
one another. What started as stress slowly became something heavier. Something
quieter. Depression does not always arrive dramatically. Sometimes it settles in like a
fog.
As her illness progressed, we searched for ways to manage symptoms such as pain,
nausea, anxiety and insomnia. Cannabis became part of that conversation. Initially, she
found some relief through infused edibles. At the same time, I began exploring cannabis
myself.
There were rules at first. No smoking in the house. Not around our son. I started with
vaporizers and the occasional pre-roll outside. It wasn’t about rebellion or escape. It
was about survival.
Cannabis did not remove the fear or the grief. It did not make difficult realities disappear.
What it did create was just enough distance from the constant noise in my mind to help
me function.
She was able to sleep more often. I was able to breathe.
A Bridge, Not a Cure
After she passed away in 2024, the grief intensified. Loss reshapes everything. The
routines you shared. The plans you imagined. Even the smallest daily moments carry
new weight.
Cannabis did not fix that.
But it helped turn the volume down enough that I could hear my son laughing again. It
gave me space to process instead of simply endure. It allowed moments of reflection
instead of emotional shut down.
For many men, mental health recovery is not about funding a single solution. It is about
finding entry points. Small openings that make larger conversations possible.
Cannabis can sometimes serve as one of those openings. It may help reduce anxiety,
improve sleep or make social interactions feel less overwhelming. In my own
experience, it helped me begin forming connections I had previously avoided.
I have never been particularly outgoing. Yet through cannabis culture and community, I
found shared understanding and unexpected friendships. Many began online, but they
were real. They represented something I had been missing: connection.
Mental health recovery is rarely a sprint. It is a marathon.
What the Data Shows
Personal stories matter, but they exist within a larger reality.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, men in the United States
by suicide at nearly four times the rate of women.
Globally, research from the World Health Organization indicates men account for
roughly three-quarters of suicide deaths each year.
The American Psychological Association has noted the stigma and traditional gender
expectations often discourage men from seeking mental health treatment.
Research into cannabis and mental health is ongoing. Studies supported by the
National Institutes of Health have explored its potential to help manage anxiety, improve
sleep and support patients coping with chronic pain or trauma. Some observational
research suggests medical cannabis users report reduced reliance on substances such
as opioids and alcohol.
However, cannabis is not without risks. Heavy or early use may increase anxiety or
dependency in some individuals. Vulnerable populations may face elevated risk of
psychotic symptoms. The National Institute of Drug Abuse emphasizes the importance
of informed and responsible use.
Understanding both benefits and limitations is essential.
Breaking the Silence
Men are often taught to carry emotional burdens alone. To endure without expression.
To believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
But healing rarely happens in isolation.
For some, therapy provides the path forward. For others, support groups, medication,
exercise or lifestyle changes make the difference. And for a growing number of men,
cannabis has become a part of a broader mental health tool kit.
Not as an escape from reality. A chance to reconnect with themselves and with others.
Speaking openly about these experiences helps dismantle stigma. It gives other men
permission to acknowledge their struggles and seek support before reaching a breaking
point.
Support and Resources
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, help is
available:
● 988 Suicide & Crisis Line
● National Alliance on Mental Illness
● Movember Foundation
● HeadsUpGuys
Final Thoughts
We are taught that men are supposed to endure. To carry pain quietly. To keep moving
forward no matter how heavy the load becomes.
But endurance without expression turns into isolation. Isolation turns into despair, And
despair, too often turns into statistics.
Cannabis didn’t save my life, but it helped me stay present long enough to begin saving myself. It helped me find community when I had none. Helped me sit with grief instead of running from it. Helped me become a father who could still show up, even on the worst days.
The silence surrounding men’s mental health is not strength. Breaking the silence is.
And sometimes, the first crack in that silence comes from the most unexpected places.
Sometimes survival doesn’t look like strength. Sometimes it looks like simply refusing to disappear.
