“What’s your favorite strain?” is probably the question I get asked the most, with “how do you stay so handsome and youthful-looking?” being a close second; we’ll save that one for another time.
The problem is, I’ve spent my entire life living in a state without legalization – of any kind. So at least 90% of the cannabis I consumed up until a few years ago had no name. My favorite was “whatever my dude has and man I hope he’s home or answers his phone/pager/carrier pigeon.”
In the last 2-3 years I’ve experienced dozens of named strains, but I hardly remember any of them. They are all lost in a haze of berries and lemons and anagrams and nonsensical word combinations. A lot of strains will have the same name but have different effects depending on the location and the particular circumstances of that grow; some strains have been bred and re-bred so much the names have ceased to have any meaning.
Do you know what I remember? That Kush I smoked 15 years ago. The Green Crack that guy had that one time. The Northern Lights I drove 45 minutes to some dude’s house in the middle of the night to buy a quarter bag of.
No offense to the strains of today; the advancements in cannabis breeding and the help and relief they bring to millions each and every day is a miracle and one I will always fight for every adult to have legal access to. I would not survive without cannabis.
I smoke so much, however, that all the strains run together for me now, for the most part. But I always remember how grateful the me of 15-20 years ago was to find a strain that was familiar and had a name and I knew was high-quality. When you opened a bag of OG Kush, you didn’t need a label or a terp profile because you knew exactly what it was as soon as the odor hit your nostrils and Dr. Dre’s The Chronic started playing in your head.
I knew my access was limited because of the tyranny of my government, but for those brief moments I also knew I would find relief because I was going to get my money’s worth out of the bag I just bought from some dude. I knew I wouldn’t be in pain. I knew I would be able to eat. I knew I would live another day, at least.
The strains that save your life are the ones that tend to last in your memory. It’s a side effect that’s hard to forget, even after so many years.
Stoner Jesus, Writer, Producer, & Cultural Commentator
A veteran voice in the cannabis community, Stoner Jesus is a creator who blends high-level production with authentic advocacy and comedy. As a partner in SJ/SK Productions, he is one-half of the creative engine driving some of the scene’s most engaging multimedia content.
He is best known as the charismatic co-host of The High Patrol, where he joins forces with Sith Kitten to navigate the latest in cannabis news, culture, and lifestyle with their signature wit and “elevated” perspective. Whether he’s behind the mic or in the director’s chair, his mission remains the same: destigmatizing the plant through hilarity, quality broadcasting and community connection.
When he isn’t producing or hosting, you can find him sharing real-time insights and engaging with the community on X (formerly Twitter) at @stonerjesus420.
